Caramia

A blank notebook and a backpocket fade

You used to mock me

Sometimes I would cry when I was home later

You hurt my feelings

Why why why

Send it down in your notebook

My wannabe Harriet the spy



And some say your genius

Is in your madness

Will you get better

Then will you leave us?

How you mixed with the darkness

At such a young age

Until in your chemistry

Science and violence turned

Silence to rage



Why are you dreaming this,

One shoe off and a bridge to cross over

And where is your taxi fare,

Are you left by yourself or left by your lover?

For three nights straight now I dream I keep both of my shoes

But I've forgotten my lines

And I've misplaced my cues

And there's a sea full of faces and a show to go on,

And I'm struck mute at entrance with nothing to draw from



There were the secrets

The big bang and the bigger joke

You seem to know all of them

And injustice makes you red with choke

You love like your desperate

You don't know what love is

I thought if there was one thing I could give you

One thing I could give you,

Maybe it was this



With your head on the bed board

The anguished repeat

The sweat of our sadness

The twist of the sheets

I don't want what's best for you,

Where will I be when you've found it?

I pray a lot about these bad feelings inside

But I can't pray my way through or around it