I'm a cheap drunk - Give me one and I'm flyin.' A cheap drunk, give me two and I'm tryin' you on for size. Please do not criticize; I only slobber when I am not so sober! Give me one beer and I'm sure to be cheery. Give me two beers and I'm happy, really. Give me three beers and I'm goin' on ecstatic. Give me four beers and I'm sure to have had it but, I'm not really sure where or with whom 'cause by the second beer I'm horny - they're tellin' me: "Go rent a room!" Well, I'm a cheap drunk...I work hard all of the week and I think that I really deserve a rest and besides, after I have had my very first drink, that's when I am at my best. So, give me one beer...But, I only pay for it the next day so if you're comin' home with me, baby, I suggest you slip away or else you'll be rubbin' my back and swearin' you still find me hot while I'm dealing with my little issue of GUT ROT! I'm a cheap drunk... Please do not criticize.