Sitting in a cafe talking to a lady

Having a discussion about S-E-X

In her early thirties she was talking kinda dirty

I was totally excited but a nervous wreck

Then she said before we'd ever get to the mat

I'd have to walk her to the altar

What'd I think about that?



Check Please! Quickly

How much do I owe, it's time for me to go

What she wants to do ain't on the menu

So hey maitre d'snap one two three, check please



I called her up the next day said meet me in the cafe

Told her I was hasty could we try once more

Red wine, candlelight couldn't keep the subject light

It headed for the gutter like the night before

Then she leaned over and whispered with them drop dead lips

How's about we settle down and raise ten kids



Check Please! Quickly

How much do I owe, it's time for me to go

What she wants to do ain't on the menu

So hey maitre d'snap one two three, check please



I'm in control, I'm doing fine, I could walk away at any time

As a matter of fact, I ain't never ever calling her back



Back again the next night giving in to Miss Right

Taking her home to meet the Mom and Dad

Told her I would gladly wait for wedding bells to consummate

Even if those cold showers drove me mad

Then she gave me that "I want you right now" look with her eye

As her toe started climbing up my thigh



Check Please! Quickly

How much do we owe, it's time for us to go

What we want to do ain't on the menu

So hey maitre d'snap one two three



Check Please