Had a crush on santa

Since I was 9 years old

But oh santa

Why do You go?



Once a year you come visit me

Eat my cookies, leave presents the same old routine

But now santa

I want something more

No presents all that this girl's askin for



Santa sleep with me tonight!



I read these words in her diary

An invasion of my girlfriend's privacy

I shouldn't have, but I'm glad I did



Wonder what does she see in him

A big old tub of jelly with a double chin

He's older than my grandmother



Indeed this fetish is really bizarre

Sexual attraction for this holiday star

I gotta plan that you wouldn't believe

But I've gotta act like it's christmas eve



Santa's suit is what I will get

And give my girlfriend a night that she'll never forget

And neither will I

Went through my closet and found a red robe

Made a beard out of cotton, stuffed my shirt with pillows

And drove to my girl's house



I slipped down the chimney and to my dismay

Saw santa and my girl in red lingere

And in between all the moans and groans

I heard her say

Oh santa, Oh santa



She said santa I miss you I love you

I wish you would stay home forever with me

Santa I knew you were coming to town

But tonight you are coming in me



Santa, get off of my girlfriend

get off of my girlfriend