[LL Cool J]

Yeah..

Yeah I like that guitar man, yeah

Yo E-Love I like the way you flipped that guitar man

Knahmsayin? It was a good idea man, knahmsayin? Yeah

It's kinda like freakin me, yaknahmsayin?

I wanna get hype man, I wanna do this, yaknahmsayin?

Just gon' chill, check it out



Slick as Vasoline, smell good as cologne

I'm like a muscle man in jail -- they leave me alone

I rhyme like Superman, you rap like Jimmy Olson

I break you like a bottle of green Golden Molson

You ain't a real rhymer, you look like a actress

How you gon' sleep on me holmes, do I look like a mattress?

Am I that old, do I walk like Grady?

I'ma hundred-fifty proof, Smirnoff is only 80

Don't you EVER try to rock my house

I'm a real cool cat, know what I'm sayin Mickey Mouse?

The poetry specialist, so take a dose of this

Now think about it -- can you really come close to this?

You soft as powder, weak as a cabin cooler

Ugly as work shoes, messin with the Ruler:

the ultimate writer reciter and def entertainer

I work myself harder than a boxer's trainer



[Chorus: LL Cool J]



Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

I said, clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)



[LL Cool J]

You end up, underneath my sneaker

You're dog doo-doo, I'm watchin you get weaker

You can't believe, the skill and dexterity

LL Cool J, and the J is for Jeremy

So BUFF ME, James Todd the earthquaker

That's right my brother, you're goin out like Sega

{*censored*} chewed, so whassup dude?

One of my battles'll get your girlies in the mood

Sucker MC's really make me sick

I'm so bad, I can suck my own {dick}

If you go to your girl's house and I'm there already

Don't go Crazy cause my name ain't Eddie

Rhymes so rough, it's like a course in trigonometry

When Einstein was talkin, he was talkin bout ME

The Prince of the Earth, and I'ma give birth

to a rhyme so hard you look soft as a Smurf

Gigglin and wigglin, so how we goin out?

LOVELY, and that's without a doubt!



[Chorus 3/4X]



[LL Cool J]

Rappers are my servants, they serve me like an emperor

When I'm through, you'll need a nurse to take your temperature

and cool you down, cause you're cold as leftovers

Not the ones on the table, I'm talkin about RUFF rovers

You can't get over -- what's my name, Goofy?

You smoke I'm no joke, so my brother break out the looseys

and take a pull, cause the buck stops here

I get swift as a magician, wreck {shit} and dissapear

Don't cross me, or lose your loyalty

to the Prince of the Rap Court, I'm royalty

And it ain't no puzzle, it's a shame how rappers guzzle

paragraphs I put together so I carry a muzzle

to shut em up and cut em up and make em be quiet

I'm a one man RIOT, so don't even TRY IT

The Prince of special tactics, plus I'm athletic

Before you play your hand you better do some calisthetics

Jumpin jacks, squats, push-ups, the whole nine

Speak your piece, then I'ma go for mine

And I guarantee you, I'm gonna strike again

I recommend my friend you drop the pen and give in

Cop out to one rhyme cause you're facin ten

I ain't Sidney Poitier but we can 'Do This Again'

I'm nice wit mines, and I gotta admit it

You don't really wanna battle, why don'tcha just forget it!



[Chorus 1/2]



[LL Cool J]

But if you're hard headed and you still don't understand

Here's a little sample -- EHM EHM, my man



(BRRRRRRRING) "Hello?"

[cut n scratch "Cool J"]

".. takes everything you've got" -> [Cheers (theme song)]

[cut n scratch "pushin a broom"]

".. sure would help a lot" -> [Cheers (theme song)]



[LL Cool J]

Check my stats, how we livin, I thought so

I'm fresh, oh yes, but can they flow, hell no

My rhymes are up to date, excellent, on point

I'm tellin you, they're the serious joint

I eat my steak fast, I drink my brew slow

My voice is milky with a nice clear flow

I eat like a fat man, and walk like a gigolo

I'm not a ballplayer, so now Y'KNOW!



Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

cause I rock the house, everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)



KnowhatI'msayin? And I'ma be straight til the year 3000

That's word to mother, knahmsayin?

And I say mother with a V cause the V is for Victory yaknahmsayin?

Cause I'm the victor in this game, word up

Knahmsayin? That's what time it is, peace



[crew applause]



That man, he sure is FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY

FUNKY! Funky, he sho' is!

You best believe he's FUNKY!

You didn't KNOW??? FUNKY!