[ll cool j]

Yeah..

Yeah i like that guitar man, yeah

Yo e-love i like the way you flipped that guitar man

Knahmsayin? it was a good idea man, knahmsayin? yeah

It's kinda like freakin me, yaknahmsayin?

I wanna get hype man, i wanna do this, yaknahmsayin?

Just gon' chill, check it out



Slick as vasoline, smell good as cologne

I'm like a muscle man in jail -- they leave me alone

I rhyme like superman, you rap like jimmy olson

I break you like a bottle of green golden molson

You ain't a real rhymer, you look like a actress

How you gon' sleep on me holmes, do i look like a mattress?

Am i that old, do i walk like grady?

I'ma hundred-fifty proof, smirnoff is only 80

Don't you ever try to rock my house

I'm a real cool cat, know what i'm sayin mickey mouse?

The poetry specialist, so take a dose of this

Now think about it -- can you really come close to this?

You soft as powder, weak as a cabin cooler

Ugly as work shoes, messin with the ruler:

The ultimate writer reciter and def entertainer

I work myself harder than a boxer's trainer



Chorus: ll cool j



Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

I said, clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)



[ll cool j]

You end up, underneath my sneaker

You're dog doo-doo, i'm watchin you get weaker

You can't believe, the skill and dexterity

Ll cool j, and the j is for jeremy

So buff me, james todd the earthquaker

That's right my brother, you're goin out like sega

{*censored*} chewed, so whassup dude?

One of my battles'll get your girlies in the mood

Sucker mc's really make me sick

I'm so bad, i can suck my own {dick}

If you go to your girl's house and i'm there already

Don't go crazy cause my name ain't eddie

Rhymes so rough, it's like a course in trigonometry

When einstein was talkin, he was talkin bout me

The prince of the earth, and i'ma give birth

To a rhyme so hard you look soft as a smurf

Gigglin and wigglin, so how we goin out?

Lovely, and that's without a doubt!



Chorus 3/4x



[ll cool j]

Rappers are my servants, they serve me like an emperor

When i'm through, you'll need a nurse to take your temperature

And cool you down, cause you're cold as leftovers

Not the ones on the table, i'm talkin about ruff rovers

You can't get over -- what's my name, goofy?

You smoke i'm no joke, so my brother break out the looseys

And take a pull, cause the buck stops here

I get swift as a magician, wreck {shit} and dissapear

Don't cross me, or lose your loyalty

To the prince of the rap court, i'm royalty

And it ain't no puzzle, it's a shame how rappers guzzle

Paragraphs i put together so i carry a muzzle

To shut em up and cut em up and make em be quiet

I'm a one man riot, so don't even try it

The prince of special tactics, plus i'm athletic

Before you play your hand you better do some calisthetics

Jumpin jacks, squats, push-ups, the whole nine

Speak your piece, then i'ma go for mine

And i guarantee you, i'm gonna strike again

I recommend my friend you drop the pen and give in

Cop out to one rhyme cause you're facin ten

I ain't sidney poitier but we can 'do this again'

I'm nice wit mines, and i gotta admit it

You don't really wanna battle, why don'tcha just forget it!



Chorus 1/2



[ll cool j]

But if you're hard headed and you still don't understand

Here's a little sample -- ehm ehm, my man



*brrrrrrring* "hello?"

{*cut n scratch "cool j"*}

".. takes everything you've got" -> cheers (theme song)

{*cut n scratch "pushin a broom"*}

".. sure would help a lot" -> cheers (theme song)



[ll cool j]

Check my stats, how we livin, i thought so

I'm fresh, oh yes, but can they flow, hell no

My rhymes are up to date, excellent, on point

I'm tellin you, they're the serious joint

I eat my steak fast, i drink my brew slow

My voice is milky with a nice clear flow

I eat like a fat man, and walk like a gigolo

I'm not a ballplayer, so now y'know!



Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Cause i rock the house, everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)



Knowhati'msayin? and i'ma be straight til the year 3000

That's word to mother, knahmsayin?

And i say mother with a v cause the v is for victory yaknahmsayin?

Cause i'm the victor in this game, word up

Knahmsayin? that's what time it is, peace



{*crew applause*}



That man, he sure is funky funky funky

Funky! funky, he sho' is!

You best believe he's funky!

You didn't know??? funky!


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