When I was a boy

There was no limit on what I could eat

Shake after shake after shake after shake

Followed by all kinds of red meat

Metabolism runnin' around so fast

My body never gained no weight

That pissed off all my Momma's friends

And made my big-boned sister irate

But now I'm a man

And all that food frolicking has caused my ego to hurt

'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone

I'm too embarrassed to remove my shirt

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay

Made a fat mother-fucker outta me

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay

Made a fat mother-fucker outta me

And all them cookies I been munching lately

My feets are becoming difficult to see

I believe it was my Daddy

Who led to this eating disease

By calling me "The Little Candy-ass"

When I couldn't finish a burger with cheese

Or maybe it was my Momma

Who got me addicted to the wrong foods

Only when I gobbled down every chicken cutlet

Would I get to see Momma's good moods

They said eat this, they said eat that

To stay skinny there was no chance

And now when I walk I hear corduroy

Even though I ain't wearing pants

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay

Made a fat mother-fucker outta me

(You fat fuck, you fat fuck)

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay

Made a fat mother-fucker outta me

(You fat fuck, you fat fuck)

And all that ice cream I been eatin' lately

My chins alone weigh 203

The diet starts tomorrow!

I have a grapefruit for breakfast

For lunch a bowl of white rice

Dinnertime it's a saltless potato

I ain't allowed no spice

If this diet's gonna work

Tonight I can't eat no more

"Just go to sleep," I say to myself

As I close the bedroom door

Two in the morning, I wake up to piss

My belly's hungry and achin'

Tiptoe to the kitchen, fuck the diet

Bring on the chips flavored with bacon

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay

Made a fat mother-fucker outta me

What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay

Make a tub o' shit outta me

And all them crumb-cakes I been eating lately

I shoulda bought stock in Sara Lee