Well I've kicked around a lot since high school

I've worked a lot of nowhere gigs

From keyboard man in a rock'n ska band

To haulin' boss crude in the big rigs

Now I've come back home to plan my next move

From the comfort of my Aunt Faye's couch

When I see my little cousin Janine walk in

All I could say was ow-ow-ouch



[CHORUS:]

Honey how you've grown

Like a rose

Well we used to play

When we were three

How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree



She turned my life into a living hell

In those little tops and tight capris

I pretended to be readin' the National Probe

As I was watchin' her wax her skis

On Saturday night she walked in with her date

And backs him up against the wall

I tumbled off the couch and heard myself sing

In a voice I never knew I had before



[CHORUS]



I'll teach you everything I know

If you teach me how to do that dance

Life is short and quid pro quo

And what's so strange about a down-home family romance?



One night we're playin' gin by a cracklin' fire

And I decided to make my play

I said babe with my boyish charm and good looks

How can you stand it for one more day

She said maybe its the skeevy look in your eyes

Or that your mind has turned to applesauce

The dreary architecture of your soul

I said - but what is it exactly turns you off?



[CHORUS