I know this guy named Richard

He's my red-necked friend

He does everything the hard way

You see, Rich don't like to bend.

He went out for a haircut

Get himself a little trim

Got hooked up with a beautician

And she set out to do him in

She knocked Dick in the dirt

He said that it didn't hurt one bit, no.

She knocked Dick in the dirt

He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt.

Now Rich knows girls in England

He's a well traveled man

He's been around the world, you see.

He's met some hard demands.

But, Jane, she knocked him right down

Well, he'll just get right back up, whew!

Together they have this bond, you see.

She likes to tie him up.

She knocked Dick in the dirt

He said that it didn't hurt one bit, no.

She knocked Dick in the dirt

Yea, but, then she kissed him where it hurt, ow!

Now, Rich, he got all junked up.

Something rubbed him wrong.

But, Jane, she straightens him out.

Yeah, it never takes that long.

'Cause Rich, he has no conscience

He's of a friendly persuasion

And any chance he has to meet someone new.

He'll always rise to the occasion.

She knocked Dick in the dirt

He said that it didn't hurt one bit, no.

She knocked Dick in the dirt

He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt, ow!

She knocked Dick in the dirt

He said that it didn't hurt one bit, no.

She knocked Dick in the dirt

He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt.

Uh! Ow!