(Cledus T. JuddDeana CarterRhonda Hart)



A Mason jar full of shine; a CD of LeAnn Rimes.

Is what I bought for our anniversary tonight.

Now here I stand, with my Petunias in hand.

And you've got a headache again.



I hit a yard sale, cut my toenails,

Trimmed my nose hairs just right.

I thought you'd be impressed, by my new huntin' vest,

But there's no chance tonight.



It ain't the first time this year; it'll be TV and beer.

I 'bout forgot what it's like to be kissed.

As I sleep on the floor, while she sniffles and snores.

Did I shave my back for this?



Ow, this things duller than a dead blade butter knife.



Now I bet she'll regret the fact that she didn't let,

Me take her to that motel with a pool.

You know it's so hard to find free HBO and Showtime.

And them vibratin' beds sure are cool.



I souped up the RV, fired up my flowbe,

Trimmed my toupee just right.

Tried self-tanning cream, it turned my skin green,

Er, you know the directions said that it might.



Well it's a mystery to me, why she don't like Cledus T.

Most find me hard to resist.

I'm wearin' my brand new drawers, and wonderin' what the heck for!

Did I shave my back for this?



Deanna, did I shave my back for this?

Ooh ooh ooh.