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Hey you, listen this is the best I've got

(The best I've got to offer)

In a world of puppies in dumpsters,

Coiners and lumpsters,

Here's a little more grist for your coffers.

Run it up the flagpole, it's as safe as maypo -

You salute, I drop my pants.

Either feeding the machine,

Or just keeping it clean,

It's all just made for ants.

Won't you stop diggin' for gold,

Looking for the motherlode,

And three perfect shades of sunshine.

'Cause a mouthful of barnacles

Undoes a miracle,

And gets sewage from wine.

Three minutes-thirty and make it purdy,

I think I can do this.

Make the subjective common,

Make it about a woman -

There's no way you can miss.