(musical intro)



A used

Pink bathrobe,

A rare

mint snowglobe,

A Smuf

TV tray



I bought

On E-Bay...



My house

Is filled with

This crap

Shows up in



Bubble wrap,

Most every day.



What I bought

On E-bay...



Tell me why

I need another pet rock!



Tell my why

I got that Alph alarm clock!



Tell me why

I bid on Shatner's old tupee!



They had it

On E-bay...



I'll buy

Your knick-nack.

Just check

My feedback.



A-plus-pluss

They all say.





They love me

On E-Bay...



Gonna buy:

A slightly damaged golf pack,

Some Beanie Babies

New with tax,



From some guy

I've never met in Norway

Found him

On E-Bay.



I am the type

Who is liable to snipe you

With two seconds left

To go



Woah



Got Paypal or Visa

Whatever'll please ya

As long as I got

The dough!



I'll buy

Your chatchkeys.

Sell me

Your watch, please.



I'll buy, I'll buy,

I'll buy, I'll buy...



I'm highest bidder!



Junk keeps arriving

In the mail

From that

world-wide garage sail



Hey! A Dukes of Hazard ash tray!

I bought it on E-bay...



Wanna buy?

A Packman Feaver lunch box?

A case of vintage tube socks?

A kleenex used by Dr. Dre?



They had it

On E-Bay...



Wanna buy?

That Farrah Fawcett poster?

Pez dispencers and a toaster?



Don't know why

The kind of stuff you'd throw away,



I'll buy

On E-Bay...



What I bought

On E-Bay...



(music fades out)