El Diablo how I love him so

If only I weren't afraid of telephones

My friends stopped asking me how I am

And started asking me if I've called him yet



I wanted to ask him to see Goldmember with me



And it's a shame all I've gotten is his negativity

And it's too bad he hasn't realized that he's just like me

And it's so typical that opposites attract

And that is why I'll never get El Diablo



I need to stop for "Eldabh"

Because I know he's such a total asshole

I'll be almost sure that he hates me

But my friends talk me into thinking that he likes me



So I bought a box of chocolates in case he turns me down



And it's a shame all I've gotten is his negativity

And it's too bad he hasn't realized that he's just like me

And it's so typical that opposites attract

And that is why I'll never get El Diablo

No I'll never get El Diablo



He's just more proof that I will die alone and unloved

He's just more lightening down my chimney to kill my dogs

I don't need him

I can't have him

But I want him so bad it hurts

Take an Advil

Eat my chocolate

Sit in my bedroom and pout



But if I could change -ologies or old wives tales

I'd make it so I'd be good for him

And he's be good enough for me



And it's a shame all I've gotten is his negativity

And it's too bad he hasn't realized that he's just like me

And it's so typical that opposites attract

And that is why I'll never get El Diablo

No I'll never get El Diablo

No I'll never get Eldabh