Funeral Party



Oh, the other night I got an invitation to a funeral

But to me disappointment the fucker didn't die

So to ease our disappointment he took us out and treated us

And seein' as he apologized, we let the thing go by.

To ease our disappointment he took us out and treated us

He bought a quart of ale for a company of ten

When some one of us asked him whose money he was squanderin'

The fellow took his wallet out, we never asked again



Now, we got a concertina for to aid in the rascality

But none of us could play it though we tried our best and worse

We made an awful noise, and if it's any benefit

We played the thing so carefully that all the bellows burst

We got a boiled potato for to mend the concertina with

When someone hit Maloney with the carcass of a cat

He bottled up his whiskers, and he read out the riot act

He swore he'd put two hits upon the bastard who did that

When the owner of the beershop, he saw us all a'riotin'

He gave orders to get out but, at that we all refused

So he whistled in some loafers that were standin' round the corner and

For ten or fifteen minutes we was bodily abused

When we left the beershop, on down the road we started

When a bunch of hungry urchins, they pelted us with mud

We told them to chuck it -- they said that they were doin' that

And then they all ran off and they left us where we stood



Well, the next thing we got was a bunch of salvationers

They rifled all our pockets and they asked us, were we saved?

Poor little John McGintey got escorted to the station-house

For askin' a great policeman if his appetite was shaved

Oh, for to free McGintey we then took off our undershirts

And down to the pawnshop we took the bloomin' lot

We told him that we only wanted ten and six on them

There's enough on them already was the answer that we got



We got our ten and six all for to free McGintey with

Bad luck to that beershop that we passed along the way

For of course we couldn't pass it without having some refesherment

And we squandered all the money of the fine we had to pay

Now the drink bein' in us, the sense, it was all out of us

And for a bit of riotin' we quickly did repair

We battered one another till we all weren't worth three ha'pennies

You could have carpeted the floor with all the skin and hair



For McCarty hit McGintey and McGintey hit some other man

And every man hit any man against he had a spite.

Poor old Macnamara who was sittin' sayin' nothin' got

A kick that broke his jaw for not indulgin' in the fight.

We fought away like Turks until the police separated us

They took us to the jail with broken noses and black eyes

I got sixty days in prison and it was a lesson, sure:

I'll go no more to funerals until the bastard dies.



@Irish @brawl @drink

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