Who? Maddest one on the M1

Who hasn't stopped sucking his thumb?

Who? Very straight and never grins

Who cares what car he's driving in?



He is 'cause he saw it on a commercial break

And if he doesn't get what he wants then he gets a headache

'Cause he needs it - wants it - almost - loves it

He's here on his own, on globe alone, here on his own



Who? Joined health club to glisten

Into hi-fi precision

Who? Mobile phone gives him the bone

Who? Very keen on Sharon Stone



He is 'cause he saw it on a commercial break

And if he doesn't get what he wants then he gets a headache

'Cause he needs it - wants it - almost - loves it

He's here on his own, on globe alone

Here on his own, on globe alone la la la laaaa



(Spoken: And then he said...)

[instrumental solo]



Oh who eats at the new brasserie?

Who only ever gets merry?

Who wouldn't be seen at bedtime

Without putting Calvin Kleins on?



He is because he saw it on a commercial break

And if he doesn't get what he wants he gets a headache

'Cause he needs it - wants it - almost - loves it

He's here on his own, on globe alone

Here on his own, on globe alone

Here on his own