Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends

All through their high school days

Both members of the 4H Club

Both active in the FFA



After graduation Mary Anne went out

Lookin' for a bright new world

Wanda looked all around this town

And all she found was Earl



Well it wasn't two weeks after she got married

That Wanda started getting abused

She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses

And make-up to cover a bruise



Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce

She let the law take it from there

But Earl walked right through that restraining order

And put her in intensive care



Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta

On a red eye midnight flight

She held Wanda's hand as they worked out a plan

And it didn't take 'em long to decide

That Earl had to die



Goodbye Earl

Those black-eyed peas

They tasted all right to me Earl

You feelin' weak?

Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl?

Ain't it dark

Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl?



The cops came by to bring Earl in

They searched the house high and low

Then they tipped their hats and said,

"Thank you ladies-

if you hear from him let us know"



Well the weeks went by

And spring turned to summer

And summer faded into fall

And it turns out he was a missing person

Who nobody missed at all



So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand

Out on Highway 109

They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam

And they don't lose any sleep at night

'Cause Earl had to die



Goodbye Earl

-We need a break-

Let's go out to the lake, Earl

We'll pack a lunch

And stuff you in the trunk, Earl

Well is that all right? Good!

Let's go for a ride, Earl.... HEY!