mother, father, I'm here in the zoo

I can't come home, cause I've grown up too soon

I got my sentence, I got my command

they said they'd make me major if I beat off any man



I could be a corporal into corporal punishment

or the general manager of a large establishment

they pat some goodbyes on the back and put some to the rod

but I never thought they'd put me in the goon squad

they've come to look you over and they're giving you the eye

goon squad

the ones you took home or out to play better say goodbye



some grow up just like their dads

some grow up too tall

some go drinking with the lads

some don't grow up at all

you must learn the proper place for everything you see

but you'll never get to make a lampshade out of me



I could join a chain of mail, be the invisible link

go looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink

they pat some goodbyes on the back and put some to the rod

but I never thought they'd put me in the goon squad

they come to look you over and they're giving you the eye

goon squad

they want you to come out to play

you'd better say goodbye



mother, father, I'm doing so well

I'm making such progress now that you can hardly tell

I put in a little dedication with one eye on the clock

they caught you on the medication

you could be in for a shock

thinking of the alibis that everyone's forgotten

just another mummy's boy gone to rotten



they pat some goodbyes on the back and put some to the rod

but I never thought they'd put me in the goon squad

they come to look you over and they're giving you the eye

goon squad

they want you to come out to play

you'd better say goodbye