I put all my eggs in the bacon slicer

but now it's turned out fine.

in fact it couldn't be nice

a nice Jewish girl and a bottle of cider

seven days later I was a man of the world

...... I thought

I'll go and get a slice of pizza from the pizzeria

oh, and a coke

has anybody got the change of five quid



I'm happy to be here

so happy to be here

and I wish that you were here

unhappy with me and happy to be here

so happy to be here

but you'd had to have been there to be here

with me



I played a blinder against a gaggle of nuns

I was all mouth and trousers they were fingers

and thumbs had a lesson from the vicar on oral hygiene

he was stitching my trousers, and staring at

Christine she had three tickets to see Alfie at the Odeon

"What's it all about Christine?"

free you mind

yeah... but what the...

I'm happy to to be here

so happy to be here

and I wish that you were here

unhappy with me



I'm happy to be here

so happy to be here

but you'd had to have been there to be here

with me



I'm happy to be here

so happy to be here

how I wish that you were here

unhappy with me