[sound effects from tools]



Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town

Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here

I thought that I would go right out of my mind

Until a friend told me the news



He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot

Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it

And on that spot they're gonna build a shop

Where we can go buy bolts and screws"



Since then I've been walking on air (air)

I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair

'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care

I've been waiting since last June



For this day to finally arrive

I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive

'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside

Well, I hope they open soon



I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open the door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store



In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight

Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out

I pressed my nose right up against the glass

You know, I had to be first in line



Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom

Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house

See those hacksaws? Very, very soon

One of them will be all mine



Guys with nametags walking down the aisles

Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles

Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles

All arranged alphabetically



And they're doing a promotional stunt

There's a great big purple sign out front

That says every 27th customer

Will get a ball peen hammer free



I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open the door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store



I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store



Would you look at all that stuff ...

They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters

Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters

Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires

BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers

Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters

Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters

Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables

Hooks and tacks, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles

Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication

Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation

Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors

Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors

Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers

Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers

Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers

Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers



I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open the door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store



I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store



I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store