Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya

There never was a city kid truer and bluer

There's more to me than you'll ever know

And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh

Ton Thumb Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery

Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery

Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon

And I'm always out looking for a female companion

I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib

I took off her moccasins and put on my bib

I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing

I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peeling

Your body's on time and your mind is appealing

Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling

Some such nonsense is the bass that I'm throwing

Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing

She's talking to the kid to the who

I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did

Me in the corner with a good looking daughter

I dropped my drawers and it was welcome back Kotter

We were cutting up the rug she started cutting up the carpet

In my apartment I begged her please stop it

The gift of gab is the gift that I have

And that girl ain't nothing but the blue plate crab

Special at Woodman's in Essex Mass

Educated no stupid yes

And when I say stupid I mean stupid fresh

I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge

I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large

With the white sassoons and the looks that kill

Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville

I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie

I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie

Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around

You be listening to my records' a number one sound

Step to the rhythm step step to the ride

I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside

Tune in tune on to my tune that's live

Ladies flock like fish to my line



She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore

She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door

Break up with your girl it ended in tears

Vincent Van Gogh and mail that ear

I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking

The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking

She said come on over it was me that she missed

I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed

Your old lady left you and you went girls (x3) insane

You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train

Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak

Sucking down pints till I didn't know

Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho

Cause I announce I like girls that bounce

With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce

Girls with curls and big long locks

And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks

Walking high and mighty like she's #1 and

*She thinks she's the passionate one