I'm getting dizzy way up here

I haven't been this high in years

Oh whatever possessed me to

Blow eighty dollars on these

High Heel Shoes



"Looks life a pump, feels like a sneaker"?

Do they think we're idiots?

But I bought 'em



Now I'm standing in a subway car

I ride because I cannot walk far

I couldn't find an empty cab on the street

They were filled with high-heeled women with

Non-functioning feet



Twenty-six years ago I dreamed of wearing shoes life these

Oh the warped mind of the preteen with her strange priorities

But this is a nightmare of unsteady ankles, hands waving in the air

But the looks my legs are getting from that man across the aisle

Almost make the pain and misery and doctor bills worthwhile



If by chance you happen to meet

This wobbly woman walking down your street

The click of high heels on concrete

Is not the thrill of victory, it's the

Agony of defeat



(We hear tap dancing)



Hey, look at me everybody.

I learned this from Paula Abdul.



Oh Take pity on my vanity

Maybe question my sanity

Why I wear these uncomfortable things heaven knows

Which make me wonder about these pierced earrings and my

pantyhose... my control top ....

Oooo, I can see you don't want me to sing about pantyhose,

you'd rather I go back to tap dancing like my close, personal friend Paula Abdul

who, by the way, like me, was a geek back in high school.



Oh, I'm sorry, but that's not what this song is about

At least it wasn't when we started out

I pray this subway ride never ends

So I will never never have to

Walk again

In high heels

It's a different atmosphere

In