Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe

He'll slit your throat

And cut off your big toe, I tell you

He'll make you smile

From ear to ear

Gonna lock you in a trunk

For ninety-nine years

Don't do it now

Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom



I had a cousin who came from Vermont

Next thing I know, that cousin was gone

Truck driver saw him picking up Hitchhiker Joe

Now his spleen's on the sidewalk helping flowers grow



Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe

He'll slit your throat

And cut off your big toe, I tell you

He'll make you smile

From ear to ear

Gonna lock you in a trunk

For ninety-nine years

Don't do it now

Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom



My best friend Eddie called from L.A.

Said we'd have dinner later that day

I've got a feeling, and it's more than a hunch

My poor friend Eddie was that hitchhiker's lunch



Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe

He'll slit your throat

And cut off your big toe, I tell you

He'll make you smile

From ear to ear

Gonna lock you in a trunk

For ninety-nine years

Don't do it now

Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom

Bom, bom, bom, bom



Hitchhiker Joe ain't no vegetarian

If you see him on the highway

Steer clear of him

He got a knife in his sock

And a razor up his sleeve

And a chainsaw in his pack

And he's gonna make you bleed, yeah, yeah

Bom, bom, bom, bom