I drink tequila every night for about a year

I drink it with my best friend and I chase it down with beer

But yesterday I had to quit

It changed my life (I'll tell you what)

The other day I woke up naked with my brothers wife



Arhh I love me hoedowns a good time to be had

I declare this be the best hoedown across the land

A leader a bacardi is like a chest of treasure

And when the rum is gone

The bottle in her butt for pleasure



Hello my name is Jimmy

And I've got to take a crump

It feels like an explosion down in me rump

So take some beer and whiskey

It don' mean no harm

Cause Im a little leprechuan and eat my lucky charms



I know I look pathetic

And no I dont feel fine

Im very fuckin angry

I could commit a crime

When I went to sleep last night I was same old Chris

But somehow over night I grew a perfect set of tits



I wanted a burrito but a tachos all they had

I figured they could make me one but the guy got really mad

He slapped me across my face and