I saw one of Santa's helpers at the grocery store today

He was standin' at the front door givin' candy canes away

And I told him I was worried about a certain situation

How's Santa gonna get here with this risin' population



He said, I talked to the north pole sometime late last week

And it seems that dear ol' Santa has got somethin' up his sleeve

As I leaned in to listen, he whispered in my hear

He said, don't you dare repeat a single word of this, you hear



He said, boss man's all excited 'cause his new sled's almost ready

And they say he's got it painted up, looks just like Richard Petty's

And Rudolph and the reindeer, they're lookin' long and mean

It's the fastest, highest flyin' winter wonderland machine

I ain't seen it for myself, but I heard say

Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh



It's got a heater in the floorboard 'cause he's gettin' old, you know

And a windshield with the wipers should he happen on some snow

Landin' lights of red and white all stuck along the side

So he can spot the rooftops as he's fallin' from the sky



He's got a king-size toy bin, locks in all the latches

And a big old custom air seat with a safety belt that matches

Only thing about it that worries him a heap

Is that he might be here just long before the children get to sleep



He said, boss man's all excited 'cause his new sled's almost ready

And they say he's got it painted up, looks just like Richard Petty's

And Rudolph and the reindeer, they're lookin' long and mean

It's the fastest, highest flyin' winter wonderland machine

I ain't seen it for myself, but I heard say

Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh



Well, I ain'