Hey you over there at the piano

-what, me?

-yes you, would you like to write a song about local composer Goff Richars?

-why I'd love to

-well...



I love Goff Richards and he loves me

If he was any sweeter i could put him in my tea

He writes the song to make the children sing

Oh Goff, you are a king



(hey kids, come over here and meet uncle Goff)



We love Goff Richards and he loves us

I never knew him but I met him on a bus

He's a valued member of the national trust

He knows his bluetits from his bush



(birds, that is)



I love Goff Richards and he loves me

I met him at a disco doing the Hokey-kokey

In with his left leg and then he pulled it out

and then he shook it all about



(legs, that is)



I met Goff richards at the YMCA

I never knew that big Geoff was gay

he came over to me and asked me for a dance

so I kicked him in the nads



(nads that is, oh yes)



this is the end of out song