Ohhhhhh...

I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV,

Against a plumber, and an architect, both with a Ph.D.

I was tense, I was nervous,

I guess it just wasn't my night.

Art Fleming gave the answers,

Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right-ight-ight

I lost on Jeopardy,

Baby,

(Oooh.)

I lost on Jeopardy,

Baby,

(Oooh.)

Well I knew I was in trouble now,

My hope of winning sank,

'Cause I got the Daily Double now,

And then my mind went blank.

I took Potpourri for one hundred,

And then my head started to spin.

Well, I'm givin' up. Don Pardo,

Just tell me now what I didn't win,

Yeah, yeah.

I lost on Jeopardy,

Baby,

(Oooh.)

I lost on Jeopardy,

Baby,

(Oooh.)

That's right Al--you lost! And let me tell what you didn't win: a

twenty-volume set of the Encyclopedia International, a case of Turtle

Wax, and a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat. But

that's not all! You also made yourself look like a jerk in front of

millions of people! And you brought shame and disgrace on your family

name for generations to come! You don't get to come back tomorrow! You

don't even get a lousy copy of your home game! You're a complete loser!!

Don't know what I was thinkin' of,

I guess I just wasn't too bright.

Well, I sure hope I do better

Next weekend on The Price Is Right-ight-ight

I lost on Jeopardy,

Baby,

(Oooh.)

I lost on Jeopardy,

Baby,

(Oooh.)

I lost on Jeopardy,

Baby...