Announcer: "the stars of our show, and america's "shiekest" couple, eddie sparks and dixie leonard!"



James: i remember you.

Bette: i'd like to say that you're in my dreams.

James: you're the one who made my dreams come true

Bette: you're usually dead,

James: a few

Bette: without a head,

James: kisses ago.

Bette: and lots of natives are picking their teeth with your bones.

James: i remember, too,

Bette: oh, what a dream!

James: a distant bell,

Bette: it comes at night and taunts me,

James: and stars that fell

Bette: and, like your jokes, it haunts me until

James: like rain out of the blue.

Bette: i'm blue as your face as the last breath leaves you.

James: when my life is through,

Bette: i'll jump for joy.

James: and the angels ask me to recall







Bette: and when winchell asks me to recall

Who's a chump and a heel.

James: the thrill of it all,

Bette: who's the biggest schlemeil?

Both: then i will tell them i remember . . .

James: "so, uh, it's my birthday comin' up."

Bette: "yeah, i know, eddie."

James: "but, what do you give a guy that's got everything?"

Bette: "uh, penicillin?"

James: "hmmm, hey dix? you ever been married?"

Bette: "oh, yeah, eddie, twice!"

James: "children?"

Bette: "no, silly! grown men! tell me, eddie, what's the most romantic thing a woman ever said to you?"

James: "are you sure you're not a cop?"

Then i will tell them i remember . . . you.

Bette: you

James: and you.