Seems I just can't break

into the music industry,

With my happy childhood

and perfect family.

They don't want a clean-cut

kid like me, oh no siree!

I have to be abused, misused and fondled sexually.

Cause, they want Marilyn Manson

They want that guy from the Cure

Suffering from manic depression,

and raping a bunch o' minors.

So I got a brand new idea,

A way I could become popular.

I'll start my own punk rock band,

And I think I'll call it MISDEMEANOR!

It'll send the kiddos a' runnin'

To buy our new record.

We'll sing about killing policemen

and on the cover we'll be flippin' the bird.

Cause, they want heroin addicts

They want coke-sniffin' fiends

But with my new band name,

I think that now they'll want me!

So I gotta go build my ego,

I think I'll start a fight in a bar.

I'll even try to slit my wrists,

But first I'll learn to play the guitar.