Words and Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson



If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you furniture for your house

(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile)

If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love.



If I Had $1000000 I'd build a tree fort in our yard.

If I Had $1000000 You could help, it wouldn't be that hard.

If I Had $1000000 Maybe we could put a like little tiny refrigerator in there somewhere.

[We could go up there any time we wanted to. We could have like snacks and beverages]



If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a llama or an emu)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones)

If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love



If I Had $1000000 We wouldn't have to walk to the store

If I Had $1000000 We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more

If I Had $1000000 We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.

[But we would. Look I like Kraft Dinner. I think we'd eat more.]



If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)

I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey!?)

If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love..



If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000

If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000

If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000

I'd be rich