If I was with a woman, she'd wonder what was happening

Little things would slowly go askew

If I was with a woman, I'd make her quite unhappy

Specially when she did not want me to



If I was with a woman, I'd make believe I loved her

All the time I would not like her much

If I was with a woman, she'd soon become unsettled

I'd show her but I would not let her touch



Look at them laughing

Look at them laughing

Look at them laughing

Laughing, laughing



If I was with a woman, I'd never ask her questions

But if she did not want me to I would

If I was with a woman, I'd offer my indifference

And make quite sure she never understood



Oh, if I was with a woman, I'd threaten to unload her

Every time she asks me to explain

Oh, if I was with a woman, she'd have to learn to cherish

The purity and depth of my disdain





Look at them laughing

Look at them laughing

Look at them laughing

Laughing, laughing



I've been with a woman, she took away my spirit

No woman's coming close to me again

Oh, I've been with a woman, she took away my spirit

No woman's coming close to me again



Look at them laughing

Look at them laughing

Look at them laughing

Laughing, laughing