Parody of Any Man Of Mine by Shania Twain (S. TwainR. Lange) Loon Echo Music (BMI)Zomba Enterprises (ASCAP)

New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Cris Clark, La-Po Music (BMI)Chris Clark Publishing Designee.



This is what Cledus T. wants...



If Shania was mine

Wouldn't be proud of me

Couldn't hardly blame her

Cuz I'm so derned ugly

But on our first date

We could have a good time

If I got her on the moonshine



If Shania was mine

Say it fit just right

Though my polyester suit was just a little too tight

And there's no way

I'd have a bad hair day

Cuz I'd buy a new toupee'



Oh, I'd love to seduce her

But she married her producer

Now all I do is pray, pray, pray!

She'll get a deevorce someday



If Shania was mine

I'd probably lose my mind

If she only squeezed me, teased me

Pleased me one good time

And if she only knew

All the things I'd do

I'd be the lawn mowin, crop growin

Tater peelin, house cleanin kind

If Shania was mine



Ha huh



If Shania was mine

She'd have to agree

Can't no one cook road kill better than me

Add a dozen mountain oysters and some old fatback

She'd say