(listen)

Ive got thirty-six expressions--

Sweet as pie to tough as leather,

And thats six expressions more

Than all them barrymores put together.

Instead of just kicking me

Why dont they give me a lift?

Well,it must be a plot,

cause theyre scared that I got

Such a gift--well, Im miffed--cause

Im the greatest star--

I am by far, but no one knows it!

Wait, theyre gonna hear a voice,

A silver flute--ah hah, ah hah--

Theyll cheer each toot

(hey! that girl is terrific!)

When I expose it!

Now, cant you see to look at me

That Im a nachral camille?

As camille I just feel

Ive got so much to offer.

Kid, I know Id be divine because

Im a nachral cougher.

(coughs)

Some aint got it--not a lump,

Im a great big clump of talent!

Laugh!

Theyll bend in half.

(did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman? )

A thousand jokes:

Stick around for the jokes,

A thousand faces. I reiterate,

When youre gifted,

Then youre gifted,

These are facts--i got no axe to grind.

Hey, what are you--blind?

In all of the world so far

Im the greatest star!

Who is the pip with piz-azz?

Who is all ginger and jazz?

Who is as glamorous as?

Whos an american beauty rose

With an american beauty nose,

And ten american beaty toes,

Eyes on the target, and wham--

One shot, one gun shot and bam!

Hey, mr. keeney, here I am!

Im the greatest star,

I am by far,

But no one knows it!

Thats why I was born--

Ill blow my horn

Till someone blows it!

Ill light up like a light

Right up like a light

Ill flicker, then flare up

All the worlds gonna stare up

Lookin down

Youll never see me--

Try the sky,-ac