Nice man George, newsagent on the corner

Not very rich, but never any poorer

Jaunty old George, a happy sixty-three

Not very tall, but healthier than me

He whistles timeless tunes as he saunters down the street

Springs in his legs and elastic in his feet



But in the middle of the night, he steals through your garden

Gives your hosiery a fright and doesn't say pardon

As soft as a breeze with an arm full of underwear

On his hands and knees, dreams about the knicker scare



Hello there George, newsagent on the corner

How's the old car, yes the climate's getting warmer

Chatty old George as you get your morning paper

Read about the knicker thief, underwear taker

Bids you 'Good day', as you wander out the door

Never closes early, always cleans the floor



But when darkness hits the town and there's washing on your line

Get your knickers down, before the dreaded sign

When the clock strikes eight and you're snuggled up in bed

He'll be at the garden gate, filling underwear with dread



Nice man George, newsagent on the corner

He was closed today, maybe gone to mow the lawn

I had to go further down the road to get me current bun

Hello, isn't that George on page one ?

No it couldn't be, but yes it is

Difficult to see from these photofits



But they are after him, of that you can be sure

They've called him on the phone, they've knocked on his door

a-But he's gone away, gone to stay with some mates

He got the papers early and saw his own face