May I have your attention please

May I have your attention please

Will the Real Slim Shady please stand up?

I repeat, will the Real Slim Shady please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here...

{verse 1}

Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before

Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door

Started whoopin her ass worst than before

they first were dirvorced sold her old furniture (scream)

It's the return of the

"Awww wait, no way, your kidding

He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"

And Dr Dre said...

Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead he's locked in my basement (haha)

Feminist women loved Eminem

Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him

Look at him walking around grabing his you-know-what

Flippin' the you-know-who (yea but hes so cute though)

Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

But no worse than whats going on in your parents bedrooms

Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let Loose,

but can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose

"My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips

And if im lucky u might just give it a little kiss"

And that's the messege we deliver to little kids

and expect them not to know what a women's *vagina* is

Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is

by the time they hit 4th grade,

they got the discovery channel don't they?

We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals

who *rip* other people open like canolopes

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

then theres no reason that a man and another man can't elope (ughh)

But if you feel like I feel I got the antadoite

Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus

And it gooooesss

(Refrain)

I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the Real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

Cause I'm Slim Shady

Yes I'm the Real Shady

All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

So won't the real Slim Shady...

Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

{verse 2}

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records

Well I do, so *f---* him and *f---* you too

You think I give a damn about a grammy?

Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me

(but Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?)

Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?

So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears

s--- Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Carson Daily and Fred Durst

And hear them argue over who she gave *head* to first

Little *bitch* put me on blast on MTV

(yea hes cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe)

I should download a audio on mp3

And show the whole world how you gave Eminem *head* (scream)

I'm sick of you little golden boy groups all you do is annoy me

So I been sent in here to destroy you

And there's a million of us just like me

Who cuss like me

Who just don't give a *f---* like me

Who dress like me

Walk, Talk and act like me

It just might be the next best thing

But not quite me

(Refrain)

{verse 3}

I'm like a headtrip to listen to

Cause I'm only giving you

things you joke about with your friends inside your living room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it In front of ya'll

And I don't got to be false or sugar coat it at all

I just get on the mic and spit it

Wheather you like to admit it

I'm better than 90% of you rappers out there

Then you wanna outkin kids like these albums like

Its funny cuz the rate im going when I'm 30

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting

Pinching nurses asses when I'm *hard* jerkin I'm jerking

But this whole bag of viagra isn't working

And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin

He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings

Were in the parking lot circling

screaming I don't give a *f---*

With his windows down and system up

So will the Real Shady, please stand up

and put one of those fingers on each hand up

and to be proud to out of your mind and out of control

and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?





Ha ha

Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us

Fuck it, let's all stand up