Oh lighten up, where's your sense of humor

They're just tiny little rumors

That i started 'cause i'm lookin' out for you

Oh settle down, i'm just a little jealous

And i'm sure those other fellas

Never once believed the lies i told were true



Like the time i told that cowboy that you used to be a man

And the doctor you were datin' that you hide your wedding band

Even if i am responsible for scaring them away

You really ought to thank me, i was doin' you a favor

'cause it never woulda worked out anyway



Oh can't you see, the reason that i'm doin'

All the crazy things i'm doin'

Is because i really care about you girl

And i'll admit i go a little farther

Than i know i probably oughta

But it's all because i need you in my world



Like the time i told that lawyer that you spent a year in jail

And the salesman you were seein' you hang out at cheap motels

Even if i am responsible for scaring them away

You really ought to thank me, i was doin' you a favor

'cause it never woulda worked out anyway



I can't stand the thought of you with anybody else

I know i've gone overboard but i can't help myself



Like the time i told that dentist you had seven little kids

And you doubled as a dancer at the strip joint on the ridge

Even if i am responsible for scaring him away

You really ought to thank me, i was doin' you a favor

'cause it never woulda worked out anyway



It's all because i love you and i can't stop thinkin' of you

And it never woulda worked out anyway