It's Me Again, Margaret" by Ray Stevens

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Well, there once was a feller named Willard McVane

And he only had just one thought on his brain

Every evening 'round midnight he'd sneak off alone

And call the same lady on a pay telephone



"It's me again, Margaret...

[very evil laughter]

are you there, Margaret?

I know... I know it's you, Margaret...

You don't know me, Margaret, but I know you."



Well, this upset the lady and it gave her the blues

So she called up the police, said "What do I do?"

The Chief of Detectives came round to her home

And eavesdropped upon them on her upstairs phone



"It's me again, Margaret...

[very evil laughter]

are you naked?

[more very evil laughter]"



Well, they called up Ma Bell and they traced him on down

To a funky old phone booth on the outskirts of town

It was there that the Vice Squad with their field glasses read

The lips of that amorous man as he said



"It's me again, Margaret...

[very evil laughter]

hello? Is this Margaret?

Bet you can't guess what I'm doing..."



Well, they cuffed him and they dragged him to the jailhouse downtown

And they allowed him one phone call 'fore the jailer came round

Well, he wet his chapped lips and he cleared his young throat

And he dialed up the number and softly he spoke



"It's me again, Margaret...

[very evil laughter]

They got me, Margaret.

You won't miss me, Margaret, but I'll miss you... hoo hoo

[degenerates into even more evil laughter]

And when I get out I'll come over and we'll have a party

and I'll bring a live chicken.. and some peach preserves!

Oh, we'll have a real good time