I rolled my eyes, burst into tears

And how appropriate can you get?

The details emerged, the anger surged

I got to say I wish we never met

Hey, a party cruise on the River Styx

And I suppose it's just as well

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it's so you

A Concorde ride, right to the Pearly Gates

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it's so you

You mom was mad at all your friends

And vice-versa. It wasn't cool.

I couldn't read your eulogy

I told your dad we kind of had an office pool

Hey, a party cruise on the River Styx

And I suppose it's the way to go

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it's so you

A Concorde ride, right to the Pearly Gates

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it's so you

We threw you a big Irish wake

I know that you're Bolivian, but

You always were the biggest fake

We chose the path of least resistance

And most fun…and most fun…and most fun

Let the record show that I will fight your legend at every turn

All the stories that were never true and the rep that you didn't earn

I will do everything in my power to make sure that this little stunt of yours

Gets you absolutely nowhere

But I guess I'm really talking to myself here