jack of all trades master of none

even got lost trying to find the M1

ended up in South Shields with a couple of drunks



moved to Crouch End suburb of cool

took a few drugs acted the fool

fell in love with a girl on her harmonium stool



went round the world in the back of a van

we kept in touch with our only fan

he was short and sweet lived in Japan



the band broke up round a pool in Bangkok

to tell you the truth it didn't come as a shock

our days were numbered like hands on a clock



so we carried on me and the serious girl

had massive hits all round the world

we got so big we both became ill



flew into London with a bit of a tan

caught the train back to Sunderland to see me old man

we had bacon and eggs from the same frying pan



to walk down the high street

avoiding a scrap

"are you Dave Stewart?"

"yeah"

:you're a crap"

had a pint in the Beehive then home for a nap



got married in France to an Irish colleen

I was thirty three she was only thirteen

I wore orange but she wore green



now I sit and write plays for myself and my sons

they keep me amused yeah I have much more fun

than big lines of speed at quarter to one

on a peaceful Sunday morning