It was raining it was cold

West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old

So he packed his bags and he headed out

To find out what the world's about

He went to France he went to Spain

He found love he found pain

He found stores so he started to shop

But he had no money so he got in trouble with a cop



Kids in trouble wiht the cops from Israel didn't have no home

So he cut his hair and moved to Rome

It was there he met his Irish bride

And they rented a flat on the lower east side

Of Rome

Italy that is

Music publishers, book binders, bible belters,

Swimming pools, orgies and lots of pretty Italian chicks





Charley bought some popcorn

Billy bought a car

Someone almost bought the farm

But they didn't go that far

Things shut down at midnight

At least around here they do

Cause we all reside down the block inside

At 23 skidoo





Wine was flowing so were beers

So Jesus found his missing years

He went to a dance and said This don't move me

So he hiked up his pants and he went to a movie

On his thirteenth birthday he saw Rebel Without a Cause

He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus

Who gave him a gift

And he responded in kind

He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind





You see him and the wife wasn't getting along

So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song

Called The Dove of Love Fell off the Perch

But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church

At least not back then anyhow

Jesus was a good guy he didn't need this shit

So he took a pill with a Coca-Cola and he swallowed it

He discovered the Beatles

He recorded with the Stones

Once he even opened up a three way package

Fo