To think of my task is chilling

To know I was carefully building the mask

I was wearing for two years, swearing I'd tear it off

I've sat in the dark explaining to myself

that I'm straining too hard for feelings I ought to find easily

Called myself Jezebel, I don't believe



Before I say that the vows we made weigh like a stone in my heart

Family is family, don't let this tear us apart



You lie there, an innocent baby

I feel like the thief who is raiding your home

entering and breaking and taking in every room

I know your feelings are tender and that inside you the embers still glow

But I'm a shadow, I'm only a bed of blackened coal

Call myself Jezebel for wanting to leave



I'm not saying I'm replacing love for some other word

to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you

I'm just saying we've mistaken one for thousands of words

And for that mistake, I've caused you such pain that I damn that word

I've no more ways to hide that I'm a desolate and empty, hollow place inside



I'm not saying I'm replacing love for some other word

to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you

I'm not saying love's a plaything

No, it's a powerful word

inspired by strong desire to bind myself to you

How I wish that we never had tried to be man and his wife

to weave our lives into a blindfold over both our eyes