Junk Food Junkie

Larry Groce

Written by Larry Groce



Released by Warner Bros. Records in 1976; playing time, 3:03

Was Groce's only hit, making it as high as #9 on the _Billboard_ Hot 100





You know I love that organic cooking

I always ask for more

And they call me Mr. Natural

On down to the health food store

I only eat good sea salt

White sugar don't touch my lips

And my friends is always

Begging me to take them

On macrobiotic trips

Yes, they are

Oh, but at night I stake out my strongbox

That I keep under lock and key

And I take it off to my closet

Where nobody else can see

I open that door so slowly

Take a peek up north and south

Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie

And I pop it in my mouth

Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural

Just as healthy as I can be

But at night I'm a junk food junkie

Good lord have pity on me

Well, at lunchtime

You can always find me

At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar

Just sucking on my plain white yogurt

From my hand thrown pottery jar

And sippin' a little hand pressed cider

With a carrot stick for dessert

And wiping my face

In a natural way

On the sleeve of my peasant shirt

Oh yeah

Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight

And I'm all by myself

I work that combination

On my secret hideaway shelf

And I pull out some Fritos corn chips

Dr. Pepper and an Ole Moon Pie

Then I sit back in glorious expectation

Of a genuine junk food high

Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural

Just as healthy as I can be

But at night I'm a junk food junkie

Good lord have pity on me

My friends down at the commune

They think I'm pretty neat

Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts

But I give 'em all something to eat

I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons

And I only eat homegrown spice

I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn

Filled up with my brown rice

Yes, I do

Oh, but folks lately I have been spotted

With a Big Mac on my breath

Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders

With a face as white as death

I'm afraid someday they'll find me

Just stretched out on my bed

With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips

And a Ding Dong by my head

In the daytime I'm Mr. Natural

Just as healthy as I can be

But at night I'm a junk food junkie

Good lord have pity on me





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From _The Wacky Top 40_ by Bruce Nash and Allan Zullo (Holbrook, Mass. :

Bob Adams Publishers, 1993)

This silly song about addiction to such goodies as corn chips, moon

pies, and Twinkies was written and performed by a self-confessed junk

food junkie.

"That's the way I always ate when I was a kid," admitted Larry Groce.

"No matter how hard my mother tried, I ended up eating a peanut butter

sandwich and Fritos and drinking Dr. Pepper. That was pretty much the

staple."

Groce, who sang folk songs at coffeehouses, was eating junk food on the

road when he conjured up the song in the mid 1970s. "I wrote it in my

Volkswagen bus as I drove from West Virginia to Boston to do a job," he

recalled. "I knew I wanted to write a song about junk food. So I got the

idea to use the character of a junk food junkie who was kind of a Jekyll

and Hyde. The words came fairly quickly. I actually stopped on the side of

the road, took out the guitar, and made a tune for it so that by the time

I got to Boston, it was pretty well written."

Groce sang the song in his act on the coffeehouse circuit and received

a strong positive reaction. "I thought of 'Junk Food Junkie' more as a

satire than a novelty song. I performed it to poke fun at both the junk

food culture and the health food culture. Everybody identified with it."

His best reception came from the audience at a New York coffeehouse

called The Focus, where he played regularly. "It turned into a health

food restaurant. I saw the irony of going from the junk food culture of

my childhood to the hip New York health consciousness where brown rice

was the staple."

His manager, Randy Nauert, tried to secure a record deal. But when

there were no takers, Nauert decided to put it out himself on his own

label, Peaceable Records. He sent several hundred copies to radio

stations around the country. "The song sold itself," said Groce. "Disc

jockeys had so much fun with it that it took on a life of its own."

Dr. Demento featured it on his syndicated radio show, and in a weekly

phone-in contest on Denver's KTLK, "Junk Food Junkie" soundly trounced

all comers. The song finally caught the attention of Warner Brothers,

who cut a deal with Groce and re-released it on their label. Only then

did it become a national hit.

NOTEWORTHY NOTES

o The song was recorded live at McCabe's--a Los Angeles guitar shop that

still stages acoustic concerts right in the store.

o Groce didn't even realize that his song was being recorded for a single.

"I wasn't aware they were recording it because at the time I hadn't

planned on releasing it as a single," he said.

o The audience's applause was sweetened for the record, "but not too

much," Groce said.

o Groce's was the first song in history with lyrics that mentioned both

19th century poet John Keats and Kentucky Fried Chicken founder Colonel

Sanders.

o Michael Jackson once sand "Junk Food Junkie" on the Jackson Five's

network TV show.

PLATTER PATTER

Warner Borhters Records feared there would be costly backlash from the

junk food companies who were mentioned by name in the song.

"There was a fear," said Groce. "I was in the publicity department at

Warner Brothers and they were worried because they heard that local

outlets of McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Chicken had put some heat on the

local stations to drop the song from their playlists.,

"Although there were a few local franchises who were upset with the

song and thought it was an insult, the home offices understood that every

time their name was mentioned good things happen."

After the song became a hit, Groce was a guest on a radio show along

with the creator of Twinkies, who believed any kind of publicity was good

publicity. "He said that every time Archie Bunker mentioned Twinkies on

'All In The Family'--whether he was making fun of them or not--sales went

up," said Groce.

"We made a call to the P.R. office of Dr. Pepper and the guy there said

they were in the company of some other good brand names [mentioned in the

song] and they were happy about it."

Actually Groce was a little disappointed that more companies weren't

angry. "I was hoping someone would give us grief because that would have

created a David and Goliath scenario that could have helped the sales of

the record. But I think most of the companies were smart enough to

realize that poking fun at their product was in good fun.

"The Anti-Junk Food Council thought it was great because the song

pointed out the dangers of junk food. I know a lot of people think junk

food isn't nutritious--but I don't know anyone who doesn't agree that it

tastes good."

FOLLOW UPS AND DOWNS

None of Groce's follow-up songs made it on the charts.

Among them were: "The Bumper Sticker Song," "We Been Malled," and "Turn

on the TV."

ROCK ON

Larry Groce, who lives in a 120-yeard-old farmhouse in West Virginia,

has recorded seven albums of his own folk songs and ballads as well as

hymns. He's also made nine albums of children's songs for Walt Disney

Records, five of which have gone gold and three platinum.

In 1986 he began hosting "Mountain Stage," a national radio show which

features top recording artists from all styles of music. In 1991 Groce

starred in a low-budget made-for-video feature called _Paradise Park_.

"It's a humorous story of a trailer park in West Virginia," said Groce.

"I play a teacher who lives there and everyone is an oddball but me