Junk Food Junkie



You know I love that organic cooking,

I always ask for more.

And they call me Mr. Natural,

On down to the health food store.



I only eat good sea salt.

White sugar don't touch my lips.

And my friends is always begging me to take them

On macro-biotic trips.



Yes they are...



But at night I take out my strong box

That I keep under lock and key.

And I take it off to my closet

Where nobody else can see.



I open that lid so slowly,

take a peek up North and South.

Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkee*

And I pop it in my mouth.



In the daytime I'm Mr. Natural

Just as healthy as I can be.

But at night I'm a junk food junkie

Good lord have pity on me.



Yes sir...



At lunch time you can always find me

At the whole earth vitamin bar.

Just sucking on my plain white yogurt

From my hand grown pottery jar.



And sipping little hand pressed cider

With a carrot stick for dessert.

And wiping my face in a natural way

On the sleeve of my peasant shirt.



Yes I do...



Ahh But when that clock strikes midnight

And I'm all by myself

I work that combination

On my secret hide-away shelf.



And I pull out some Fritos corn chips,

Dr. Pepper and an old Moon pie.*

I sit back in glorious expectation

Of a genuine junk food high.



(chorus)



Here we go now...



My friends on down at the commune,

Well they think I'm pretty neat.

I don't know nothing about arts and crafts,

But I give them all something to eat.



I was a friend to ol' Eul Gibbons

And I only eat home grown spice.

Got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn

Filled up with my brown rice.



Yes I do...



Now folks, lately I have been spotted

With a Big Mac on my breath.*

Stumbling to a Colonel Sanders

With a face as white a death.



I'm afraid some day they'll find me

Just stretched out on my bed

With a handful of Pringles potato chips

And a Ding Dong by my head.*



(chorus)



*Registered Trade Mark

@food

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