I was the kind of kid back in school

Who wore a members only jacket, thought he was kool

That's when I met katrina, she was best friends with seshel

I thought she was the one, yeah I thought she was special

I saw her in the hall about quarter til three

I said I'll take you in my nova, to the tasty freeze

She said I know all about you, more than I should

I know all about the dirty mags you keep in the woods



So tell me how I'm supposed to be when I've been stalked by a lesbian

I can't sleep a wink, and I'm married to the ephedrine

How am I supposed to act when I've been stalked by a lesbian now



Now don't take it light, it may seem funny to you

Yesterday my science project, was covered in glue

So I asked that guy seshel, was it something I said

He said quit being so fuckin' paranoid, it's all in your head

The way she's looking at me, I think she wants me to be,

The guy that always gets shot in every movie you see

She's walking this way, oh my god what should I say,

I hope and pray that one day she'll be straight



So I was at a bar the other night and I looked across the room and

there's this girl and she walks up to me and she's beautiful and she

says 'Hey, I'm Katrina, dude, remember me?' and I freaked I said 'Oh

my god I thought you looked familiar' about this time this 400 fucking

pound woman walks up with Katrina's face tattooed on the side of her

neck, she comes waddling and says 'DON'T FUCK WITH MY GIRL' I looked

at Jabba straight in the fucking eye and say 'Don't worry every time

I picture Katrina's face it's gonna be on the side of your gross,

fat-assed, 3 chinned neck' she says 'Are you stupid?'

I say 'NO I'M JUST SOBER