I once was a happy man

Of sound and stable mind

Then my neighbour got a dog

He put a ribbon on its head

To make it cute

But it still looked like

A chihuahua



He had me over

To watch it sit and beg

It bit my knee

And made love to my leg

Now it barks all the night

And all of the day

Whenever it's not peeing on my lawn



I didn't get to sleep last night

Till very late

The stupid dog barked

And grred

I woke up late

And ran to catch the bus

But i slipped on a turd



I was certain

It wasn't one of mine

With that that dog

Had crossed over the line

I wanted to exterminate

It and all its kind

From my lovely little suburb



I'm gonna kill the dog next door

Ain't gonna bark anymore

'cause this is judgment day

The little runt has got to pay

No more turds on my lawn

That stupid mutt will soon be gone

I'm gonna kill kill kill

Kill kill kill kill that dog



I see the little monster

In my garden

So i grab an axe and off i go

And i try my best to get it

All i do is sever my big toe

My neighbour comes

Outside to calm me

He says his dog and me

Should just be friends

He puts his little pet

In my forgiving hands



Then it starts to bite

So i strangle it with all my might

Oh oh oh oh ohhhhh



I'm gonna kill the dog next door

Ain't gonna bark anymore

'cause this is judgment day

The little runt has got to pay

No more turds on my lawn

That stupid mutt will soon be gone

I'm gonna kill kill kill

Kill kill kill kill that dog



Now the little mutt's

In doggie heaven

I strangled it to death

And now i'm free

But my trouble ain't

Quite over

My neighbour called

The cops on me

I end up at

The police station

Where i am told

That i must pay

A three hundred

Dollar fine



(*long pause*)



Wow!!

What a great value!

I think i'll kill my neighbour too!

Oh oh oh oh ohhhhh!



I'm gonna kill the guy next door

Won't call the cops anymore

I never liked him anyway

Three hundred isn't much to pay!

There are turds on my lawn

They must be his, his dog is gone

I'm gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

Kill kill kill kill kill kill

Kill kill kill kill kill that guy