Your boyfriend, he

went down on one knee

well, could it be

he's only got one knee?

I tried to surprise you

with Vodka

or, Tizer

I can't quite remember

but you didn't thank me

you didn't even thank me

because you never do



Your boyfriend, he

has the gift of the gab

or, could it be

the gift of the grab?

I tried to surprise you

I lay down beside you

and...nothing much happened

and you didn't phone me

you didn't even phone me

because it's not your style

to dial



Your boyfriend, he

displays to me

more than just

a hint of cruelty

I tried to surprise you

I crept up behind you

with a homeless chihuahua

you gushed for an hour

you handed him back and said

"You'll never guess

I'm bored now