1. I LOOKED DOWN INTO HER BLOODSHOT EYES

SHE SAID “SAVE A BEER FOR ME"

I SAID, "I’LL HAVE TO DRINK IT LATER CAUSE NOW I GOTTA PEE”

SHE REACHED DOWN AND GRABBED MY GONADS

AND SHE SQUEEZED ‘EM IN HER HAND

SHE SAID “YOU AIN’T GOING NOWHERE

CAUSE NOW I NEED A MAN”

2. BUT I GOTTA GO REAL BAD

AND I JUST CAN'T TAKE A CHANCE

I GOTTA BEAT IT FOR THE OUTHOUSE BEFORE I *** MY PANTS

THEN WE BOTH HEARD SOMETHING COMING

AND IT SOUNDED LIKE A TANK

SHE SAID, “HOLY SIT IT'S TOIVO!”

AND SHE GAME ‘EM ONE LAST YANK



CHORUS:

I WAS JUST A LONELY YOOPER SHE GRABBED ME BY THE RUMP

SHE SAID HER HUSBAND TOIVO HE LAID THERE LIKE A STUMP

SHE SAID, “YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY WE'LL BE SAFE OUT HERE"

"TOIVO NEVER COMES TO CAMP UNLESS HE'S HUNTING DEER”



3. THEN I SAW OLE'’ TOIVO,

HE WAS LOADING UP HIS GUN

I RAN OUT FOR THE OUTHOUSE, I THINK HE SAW ME RUN

WHEN TOIVO CAME STOMPING DOWN THE PATH

I THINK HE HEARD ME GROAN

BUT WHEN HE OPENED THE OUTHOUSE DOOR

THERE WAS NO ONE ON THE THRONE



4. I LOOKED UP FROM THE SIT PILE

AT THE HOLE I JUST JUMPED THROUGH

I WAS SINKING PAST MY SHOULDERS

I WONDERED WHAT HE'D DO

THEN TOIVO DROPPED HIS TROUSERS

AND I WISHED THAT I WAS DEAD

I COULD HEAR HIM UP THERE GIGGLING

AS HE SIT UPON MY HEAD



(REPEAT CHORUS)