Submitted for your inspection

The evolutionary erection

Of primitive man

But before we explore the question of his sense of style

We must point out his predilection

To cover his glands



Brothers, we've been led to believe

That between Adam and Eve

There was nothing to hide

Were it not for Eve's primal haste

Or a leaf strategically placed

Who knows what she'd decide

Eve and some guy named Clyde



That's why life is a drag

Life is just a pose in a rag

You can play the part of

Pusher or pastor

Of harlot or hag

Life is just a dressing game

Life is a drag



The argument can be rendered

All bodies are forcibly gendered

By how they are wrapped

And though popular opinion holds this

Makes us civilized

So much deference is attended

By what's in one's lap



History proves that

Who wears the pants is as much a mere circumstance

As a matter of time

Ultimately, why should we car

Where one buys one's lace underwear

If one is so inclined

Show me yours, I'll show mine



That's why life is a drag

Fashion is a long running gag

We can deck you out in sequins or spandex

A mohawk or shag

Who remembers unisex?

Life is a drag

It's a drag

What a drag



You can be a stag in a bag

They won't know until you're stiff

On a slab and they look at the tag

What you see is what you get

Life is a drag



Let's just say

We hereby conspire

That a change of attire

Is all part of the plan



Something that was so long suppressed

Starts to show when you wear a dress

And if clothes make the man

They can unmake the man



That's why life is a drag

Life is just a pose in a rag

You can play the part of

Pusher or pastor

Of harlot or hag

Life is just a dressing game

Life is a drag

It's a drag

What a drag



Fashion is a long running gag



Aren't you glad they found a way to look hip

When your butt starts to sag



Praise the Lord, designer jeans

What you see is what you get

Who remembers unisex

And who are you calling fag

Life is a drag