Bert: "Hey Ernie! Hey Ern.."



Ernie: "Hey there, Bert."



Bert: "Hi. Listen the radio is playing soft and then loud. Something wrong?"



Ernie: "That's the volume control, Bert. See this little button here? That's the volume control."



Bert: "Yeah, you're the one that's doin that, huh?"



Ernie: "And when I turn the knob this way, it makes the radio play louder."



Bert: "Yeah, I know. See, I'm tryin to read over there..."



Ernie: "And then Bert, when I turn the knob this way, it makes the radio play softer."



Bert: "Good, I like it just that way Ernie, soft."



Ernie: "But I think, I think I like most of all, is when I turn the radio up loud."



Bert: "Ernie! Ernie! That's too loud. You're making the radio play very very loudly!"



Ernie: "Bert, don't yell, I'm tryin to listen to the radio!"



Bert: "I will yell Ernie! I will yell! I have every right to yell! I'll yell and yell and yell because I can't hear myself any other way!"



(Ernie turns off the radio)



Bert: "Ernie! Now, you really do not care if I want some peace and quiet do you?"



Ernie: "I wonder what would happen if I took the knob off this radio..."



Bert: "You know you really have no consideration for people, do you?"



Ernie: "C'mere Bert."



Bert: "What're you doing?"



Ernie: "I'm gonna put the volume control on you."



Bert: "Wha! I am not a radio, Ernie! Now cut that out!"



Ernie: "And now I think I'll turn the volume a little lower..."



Bert: (In a softer voice) "You know you cannot do that to people, they wanna talk, they're not radios. And I wanna talk and I'll tell you one thing...."



(Ernie turns the volume up)



Bert: (In a louder voice) "I have been trying to read over there! I have been trying to read for so long......."



(Ernie turns the volume down)



Bert: (In a softer voice) "And I hear the radio going up and down, up and down, up and down. And I don't want that. I want....."



(Ernie turns Bert off)



Ernie: "Keeheeheehee."



(Ernie leaves Bert there with his mouth flapping and no sound coming out)