We fell in love down at the pier

You were sunburnt and I was around

Soon we were sharing a beer

We fell in love at the pier

I'm no sentimental slob, so don't think I'm queer

You got somethin' baby and it ain't just my beer

Well maybe it's the hot pants, maybe the heat

Or was it the sneakers you kicked off your feet?

I sat under my umbrella, to keep my pearly skin

You tanned your oily body, looking like sin

Well soon I was sweatin' and I wanted to leave

You slipped into the water from to much grease

Well I saw you yelling

I just couldn't hear

So I screamed back at ya, "Honey keep the beer!"

We never consummated our outside love affair

Too much tar and water

Too much hot air

Oh what a tragic end to love that was lost

We would have stood a chance if we met in the frost but

We fell in love down at pier

You were sunbathing I was around

Now I go to beaches with my girlfriend

No more love splinters in my rear end