Dressed up like a dog's dinner

Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth

If this is a dog's life

Then you're the cat's clothes

They hire out your sons

And hire out your daughters

The man from abroad says he's already bought her

And now you look like a lover but you're only a tourist



Chorus:

You're either talking or yawning

You didn't listen to a thing you heard

Don't start your morning moaning or you might wake up in Luxembourg



You get over

You're worried by her body

She's worryin' about her bodily odour

You pull off

The pull over

You say that you love her when you really loathe her

Serves you right now she wants you to feed her and clothe her



Chorus



They're smiling sweetly while they're looking daggers

Kick you where it really matters

Send all your friends to Coventry

And look for your name in last night's obituaries



If you've got the Deutschmarks

If you've got the Yen, then

You get the shirt off her back and the clock off Big Ben

Somebody's soft touch

Struck all these bargains

In the drinking clubs with the council men making

plans to put lead back in their pencils again



Chorus